Away she goes!

This little girl jumped on Kirstynn's bike and yelled "Watch me" and took off with no training wheel's. Mind you before today she has never done this. To my surprise she rode off with no problems screaming "I am doing it" Another moment of sadness, for my baby's are growing up! Love you Jazmyne! Good Job!

If you happen to attend the Paulding Co. Fair this year, please take a moment and look at the art work. Kiera was one of the children chose from Payne Elementary to have their Art work displayed at the fair! Congratulation's Kiera! Keep up the good work! : D

~Kirstynn's Awards~

5 Awards! : D Way to go Kirstynn!

Look at this another one of my smart kiddo's got 5 awards to! Great Job Kirstynn! She got Honor Roll all year, C.A.R.E.S. awards, Book-it-award, and an Accelerated Reader award! I am so  proud I am of you! You are growing us so fast! :-D As I always say "You make me one Proud Mommy!" Love you so much!
**A big thank you to Kirstynn's teacher's this year! They went above and beyond! :0

~Kiera's Awards~

Great Job Kiera!!! 5 awards in all!

I must brag about Kiera and how great she did this year. She received 5 awards yesterday! :-D With everything that went on last year I was worried about how Kiera would do in school this year, but she picked right up in school and did great this year. She kept the honor roll all year, got C.A.R.E.S awards for every nine weeks, and even has a picture she did in Art that will be on display at the Paulding Co. Fair this year! Kiera I am SO PROUD of you. Even at the Beginning of the year, She had fallen behind in reading and math skills(The school is harder here and she lived with her bi-mom for 5 months of last year's school year, and with Dillon's extra needs I think Kiera got put to the side~Not with ill  intention by her mom but Dillon requires allot of homework attention) But Kiera busted her butt, Made her AR goal every time, Worked super hard, and again as I will always say "Kiera you make me one proud Mommy! I could not ask for a better daughter, who against all odds is growing up to be a wonderful teen" I love you so much, and even with this new found attitude (I can see her now rolling her eyes.....) I could not imagine my life with out you!

Awards :)

What an awards ceremony  it was! :) Congratulations Kiera, Kirstynn, Alli, and Morgan! Good job guys I am one proud Aunt & Mommy! Keep up the good work!

Sunsets

I love sunsets, and I was lucky enough to get to take pictures with Kiera last night of an Ohio sunset.

What a three weeks it has been......

Around a month ago, Gabby got sick with an upper respiratory infection. It was bronchitis and phenomena was setting in. Got her set up on a high dose of antibiotic's for 5 days. Went in for a recheck in a week and thought we were good to go.... Nope It came back, and with a vengeance! She got sick and fast! It was a Sunday night, and we thought lets see what Monday brings. Well Monday morning she was responding ok, have a good pulse ox, so we thought lets wait a day. I was checking her temp every hour, fearing another febrile seizure. Monday night came..... and she got very sick. Sicker than Sunday night, we had been talking of taking her to the ER....Then while I was holding her and then it happened , I felt her legs start, then it moved to the whole body with in seconds.....it was another grand mal seizure. A long one this time. I jumped up and ran to the middle room where the floor was clear, sent Kirstynn to wake John, Kiera ran straight to the phone to call 911 and started to tell them what information the needed, and Jazmyne was still sound asleep on the couch though it all. As the seizure progressed it she shook harder, then it happened. VOMIT...I rolled her to the right,(big mistake, If you know anything about seizures and vomit) but in the moment it was about clearing the airway.Air way is everything, even a small shallow breath even for a couple of mintues is better than no breath. The EMS crew and family came with in about 5 minutes, and off we went to the ER.

While at the ER we had a game plan already. Dr. Holder was the first one called, and gave instructions to everyone there.We did a ton of blood work, chest x-rays, and we got the results, she has Bronchitis again!  We felt ok taking her home after talking it to our doctors.  Once we got the all clear new medication, off we went. (Well Kinda, John blew a head gastet in the blazer on his way to the hospital but fearing they were going to Life flight her to Akron he just wanted to get there.)We got the blazer home and he returned with the van to get us.... She spend most of the night sleeping, and on Tuesday night my dad offered to ride with me to Akron for the NeuroMuscular clinic on Wednesday. (Thank you dad) It was a long couple of hours there but we got some answer, found new questions that still need answers and got her put on Kepra(A seizure medication)! I was pleased with the over all day (It was a long one) So off we headed for home. Well Friday rolls around and we are on our last day of medication and went in to Dr. Wiley for a recheck. Well we found out that Gabby had aspirated on her vomit during her seizure and it had turned into aspiration phenomena. :( So new medication, very strong doses. I honestly thought we were going to end up in the hospital, but the new medication started working fast! And Gabby is now doing great! The last two days she is starting to smile again! : D Play again, and be Gabby again. So I will leave you with these pictures taken tonight! XOXO 

On to bigger things.....

I am not sure I am ready for another one of my baby's to be in the big kid classes but I guess I don't get a choice in it! Jazmyne has finished up preschool. Today was her last class. My baby's are not so much baby's anymore! Love you Princess! Sad to see you growing up so fast!

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mommy's out there! I am one lucky Mommy my kids and hubby they got me flower beds, flowers and my angel! Hope all of you have a special day! My yard looks great! :)

The moment your world crumbles.....

I spent Gabby's first year of life begging God to give me another day with her as I drifted off to sleep that night. I begged him not to take her from me, because I did not know how I could ever live with out her. I never left her side, not for a moment..... She slept with me, sat with me, and was with me almost all the time. Over the last two years, my faith has grown weaker, I stopped begging him, and started to take for granite each day. I no longer was praying at night, stopped going to church, and almost for got about god in my life. Until about 5 months ago. When my world almost got sucked away from me. I got so wrapped up in court battles, Gabby's care, and my everyday life, but I still did not make time for him...... Not a single prayer...or thank you. Then it happened again, another seizure. Another moment where my world could have just slipped away..... Its that moment where you are looking at your child, who is turning dusky, who is not breathing you turn to him...You Beg, Please don't take my baby.....Don't take her from me. I sit here tonight bawling....... Gabby is a gift everyday. I keep forgetting.... Her tomorrow is not a guarantee. I sit here begging God not to take her from me. I see she is in more pain daily, but yet I see how she moves forward. How can her MRI report say so many scary thing, her blood work show scary results, and yet she look just fine? I am a mess, An emotional mess. No one else understands, the gut wrenching feeling I get...... How would I live with out her? Each report is mixed, positive and negative. I put on this smile, that I am ok with everyone I see. I fight her battles, and try everyday to help someone else..... But I am not. Not ok in any way..... I am a mother to a child who's tomorrow is not a guarantee..... Its a struggle, I want to think she will be one of the lucky one's who lives forever. So as my world crumbles around me, remember I am just a person. A person who's world can be taken away at any moment. When them moments happen its people who come via ems in a matter of minutes, who drive themselves to my house before the ems has arrived to clear the walkway, to get my other children upstairs, It the neighbor who opens her door to let the other kids into her house, its the friend who give me a hug when you don't even know how much I needed it.Its the fact someone will take a day off of work to help me when I need it, Its the person who is willing to drop their life at a moments notice to help with mine. Its the prayers that I don't even know that are around me and my family. Thank you!. You are the people that as my world crumbles around me are still my foundation. I am going to make time for God again, He showed me at my darkest hour he still heard my prayers, Because Gabby is still here. So for everyone who don't believe in a miracle, or don't believe in God, Just look at her, because by all rights on paper, and by medical terms she should not be here. As I read the reports its hard to see Gabriella Ellen Roddy at the top. They still suck my breath away. They still bring me to tears, when I am alone reading them.

This is the first moment I have been alone since Gabby's second seizure, It has hit me like a ton of bricks.
I am one of the lucky one's as I see all this sadness around me about other people's disabled children. She woke up today, and I will beg God again tonight to please just give me another day with her..... because I don't know how I could wake up with out her.........

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I know this may seem very trivial to many. But this is the first word Gabby has made a connection with to the meaning,  Other than the high low game. This has been months in the making, but she is finally doing it.