One Last Time

Cleaning through the cabinets the other day I came across a bag I had place there around 6 months ago. I almost cried when I saw it. Inside this walmart bag held a part of the past I was not ready to part with. I guess I had forgot the emotional attachment the bag held to me. This bag represented a big part of my life for the last 2 years. My life revolved these items. These items saved my daughter life, and made so she could live. Inside this bag was...... Gabby's bottles. I know something to trivial to many, but this is how i connected with her. Good and bad times. I cant say thank you enough to my sister for showing us these bottles. I think Gabby would have had her feeding tube place months before if it were not for these. I stood there thinking about them and what to do with them. Jazmyne came up from behind me and said the following words " You know mommy there has to be another baby who needs them bottles, you should give them to another baby" I guess all this "cleaning" out of our house had made her see that somethings are best to be given on. So we got out the bottles and washed them all up. She helped me dry them and piece them back together. One Last Time. When we were all finished I felt a sadness come over me. Again, part of me wants Gabby to still eat by mouth. Part of me wants that bonding time with her. I know its better for her not to eat by mouth. It will leak into her lungs and create many problems. So I took pictures of her bottles........... I am going to try and sell them but part of me wants to just stick them back up in the cabinet. I don't know if I can hand them to someone else. To watch that dream drive away.........